.RELEASE THE PAIN, CRY
The brain associates a breakup with pain. In fact, the psychological suffering can be so EXCRUCIATING. In a way, something does die: The bond and activities of the relationship you had together.
This is why it is a good idea to go through the crying period and eventually just accept that everything has come to an end. Cry if you need to, do not bottle up pains, else depression sets in.
.SEEK FOR ANOTHER SUPPORT SYSTEM—studies show that the hardest step when trying to forget about your Ex is to dismiss him or her as your attachment figure, means that, the person you count on for validation and support; your ally.
Detach from your Ex by replacing with someone close to you, preferably a person that loves you unconditionally, like a parent, sister, friend or your own children. They can help you remember who you really are. Spend more time with them and train your brain to comprehend that closeness and intimacy don’t necessarily have to come from your ex.
.DO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP OF IDEALISING THE RELATIONSHIP
The relationship was not perfect. However, after a breakup, you tend to forget the hard parts, romanticize the best parts of the relationship, and idealize your Ex.
Instead of glorifying the past, try making a list of all the elements that made the relationship fail. Consider your ex’s attitude and flaws. Maybe it was not the right time. Maybe you were moving toward different goals. Keep that list visible so that every time you “feel the need” to call him/her, you remember the reasons why it’s not even worth trying.
.AVOID THOSE THINGS THAT REMIND YOU OF EX
Clear the emotional clutter, throw away all that reminds you of your Ex. Delete romantic emails, texts, voice notes, and even photos on your cellphone. Every time you look at something that makes you recall the relationship, you let yourself doubt if ending it was a mistake. You will miss your Ex and start daydreaming about what a beautiful life it would be if you got back together, only to have your new reality knock on your
.ELIMINATE THE POSSIBILITY OF CONTACT UNTIL YOU'VE HEALED
Once you internalize that your former romantic partner is no longer your ally, make an effort to not contact them in any way. No phone calls, no emails, no texts. Make sure he doesn’t appear on your social media feeds, either.
You will need to be strong and assertive to achieve this because he may want to establish communication with you, and you’ll have to explain why it’s not helpful or, if this doesn’t work, ignore or block him.
.CHANNEL YOUR TIME AND ENERGY INTO A NEW PASSION
To keep your thoughts away from the painful possibility of getting back together, fill the time you used to spend as a couple by doing something you enjoy. Why not engage in that new hobby you have been wanting to try for months. Maybe it’s taking dance lessons, signing up for a book club, or trying a new recipe every day. Perhaps you will find a hidden talent that you can embrace as your new passion.
.REJECT THE FRIENDSHIP REQUEST
He/she may say “but we can still be friends.” No, you can not be friends and you know that. Don’t trick yourself, whether you broke it off on good terms or bad terms, you can’t instantly become friends. Speeding up a friendship when the heart is still aching will only lead to more pain, distress, and probably a worse breakup experience.
Friendship can only be the result of you holding no romantic emotions for one another anymore.
An ex of mine got married and one week after his wedding, he wanted us to be friends.. Which kain friendship be that one? Ogbeni, your wife should be your friend
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